*Little Girl With A Dream* [entries|friends|calendar] Little Girl With A Dream [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

Bored [24 Aug 2006|01:48am] [ mood | annoyed ] An update. Wow. Only because I am bored beyond belief. And no one really wants to talk to me online. So. I leave for my corrections academy October 23rd. Im freaking out. I have to do almost twice what I had to do before in my PT test to graduate from the academy..and what I had to do before almost killed me. I am really excited about moving again though. It will be something new. There is no one that needs me around here anymore except Angel. And a couple random friends, but we'll still be friends. My mom is moving or else id want to still be here around her. I hope it will be a positive change. And I am getting a new car if all works out with this job!! =) I have noticed something that makes me pretty sick, but that I am just kinda over at the same time. All of my previous close friends, basically everyone of them has found a friendship more important to them, after tons of years of being super close and open with, all of a sudden, no time for Jennifer because I have made plans with so and so. But like I said, I am kind of over it anyways. I ask people to do stuff, its like I have to have a time penciled in 6 months in advance. Its not even anyone specific, its all of them! The only person who EVER calls me to do anything is Amanda, and she works 16 hour days and still finds time to hang out maybe once a week. I guess Ive began to assume its because our lifestyles have changed? I have no clue anymore. But I think it will be good to get away and hopefully meet some new people and get a fresh start to things. I am tired of juvenile stuff going on in my life. I just get over constantly hearing about how so and so did this with so and so and had so much fun, yet no one ever thinks to think that maybe I'd like to hangout and have fun too? Why should I always be the one to ask if someone wants to do something, and thats how it ALWAYS is.. And Im not asking anymore. No one gives me the time of day, why should I try making plans with everyone who never considers making plans with me?? Sooo in conclusion, I am just upset and annoyed with it, and yes, my feelings are hurt, but who cares. People have other friends now who's feelings are far more important than mine. Anyways, enough complaining for one nite. Angel might be stayin the nite this weekend, we are going ot look for houses in Alma, and Brenda and Mark are stopping by Friday. I have to work all week but Sunday obviously, which really bites, but I can definately use the money. I dont have to work til noon tomorrow so I am way excited =) I should try to get to sleep here soon though I guess, I havent been able to sleep well lately, been too nervous/excited and too many things going on in my mind. NIte post comment

SICK [01 Aug 2006|11:33pm] [ mood | nauseated ] So I am freaking sick..what else is new. nice.. been passing out constantly, had to get bloodwork done this morning..and NO its not cuz I dont eat, I eat all the time, more than my boyfriend for christs sake, theres no reason I should feel this way. I am tired of it..and what do you know, thurs is my interview for corrections. God I hope I dont pass out there, considering Ill be super nervous and all. Great. Another thing to worry about. I requested an OFFICIAL transcript from delta, and of course they fucked it up, so now I have to go there tomorrow and get it taken care of, hopefully. I am so freaking out about thursday and even had to leave work an hr early today because I felt so sick. Now I need to go rehearse my questions some more and get to bed, gotta work a few hrs tomorrow, hopefully I can make it through the day. Not fun. post comment

[31 Jul 2006|12:12am] [ mood | gloomy ] I never write in here anymore.. I dont really know why, maybe cuz the only person I think that writes in theirs anymore is Andrea, not that its a bad thing, just she usually knows whats goin on. I suppose for my own self I will maybe start back up writing in here, I have a real journal but by the time I go to bed Im not as thoughtful and feel like writing much. Anyways. This weekend was really awesome. Friday nite matt didnt have to work, I was SOO excited. We picked up Angel in STC and stopped at Matts uncles house for about a half hour. Then Amanda met us at our house and we drank Corona's and watched TV til Angel finally fell asleep at 2am. It was fun hanging out with Amanda, we have SOO much in common. We went to preschool together and we are in the Miss Saginaw together. We both love singing, pageants even though this is her first one, shes gone to them all, shopping, the same type of movies, it was crazy. Angel was being quite a handful this weekend. It was sad I had to keep on yellin at her and i felt sooo bad about it cuz I only get to see her like once a week now wiht my job and all and I hate her remembering her time with me by me being upset and stuff. I know where she gets it though, Johnny..he was ridiculously horrible at her bday party and had her yelling and sayin inappropriate things and all this and I just cringed. Someone had better take control, but anyways... We got up Saturday and hung out til about 5pm and then Amanda went home. Matt and I just chilled out, went to the mall and to Applebees and went to Walmart on a shopping spree lol. We stayed up late again just hanging out, it was nice to have some alone time after having Angel and Amanda over nite. Then today we got up super late and went to Angels bday party. I love Angel so much, its crazy. I have some new pics but I dont feel like posting them to photobucket right now, so if youre interested just let me know. I miss Matt so much right now. its like the weekends tease me, I get him to myself *sometimes* for 2 days and thats it, then we see each other a couple hours a nite, yet here we live in the same place. It makes me sad. So I am freaking out about this week. I work til 5 tomorrow til wed. Then wed nite I have to go to this STUPID ass rehearsal for the pageant to do mock interviews.. I honestly wish I would have NEVER been in this pageant again this year. Its baaad badd timing. So Thurs at 1pm in Lansing is my interview for my CAREER as a C.O. I am freaking out. About the questions, the outfit, the physical fitness test. Totally scared to death. because if I dont get it, I have to change my whole career goal/classes, everything Ive worked towards for two years. Its not like a teacher or nurse or something where you can go elsewhere to find a job, its the Michigan Dept of Corrections or nothing.. they dont hire them anywhere else but local jails, so needless to say Im scared shitless. Because if I dont do that, I dont know what else I will want to do with my life and that scares me to death. And what if I dont like this job, and here me and Matt move and he quits his job and all? Im freaking out and completely confused. Ive been studying my old hw assignments and all to be prepared but I am afraid Ill freeze, or fail the fitness test. Im just being overly nervous. Then Friday I have my lovely procedure at the urinary doctor. Not looking forward to it whatsoever. Then the 15th is the American Idol concert, that I asked for off over 2 months ago, and what do you know, my stupid boss schedules me to go to some STUPID teller training in Flint til 5 and my concert starts at 7pm in lansing. So matt and I basically threw $100 out the window since well miss over half the concert. Why 3 months later do they want to send me to fucking teller training for 3 fucking days. HOw boring. Hopefully I get the CO job. Get me away from all this drama. I am sick and tired of you know whos shit and gossip, I have no money for school and for some reason my FA didnt go through as it has every other fucking semester so I dont know if Im going to college this semester. I heard some other news Im nervous about but not discussing yet since I was asked not to say anything. So yeah. Okay well.. I need to get to bed. Home alone again. I get so lonely after having friends around and being able to actually sleep in the same room as Matt and not have to countdown til he leaves for work. It makes me so sad.. I hope if we do move he finds a good paying job on the same shift as me so we can spend more time together. I really miss him =( post comment

[08 Jun 2006|09:22pm] I dont know why I try so hard. Why everyone else's feelings matter more to me than my own do. My feelings matter to no one. And Ill have to learn to accept that. post comment

[04 May 2006|02:26am] Hey, I should have been sleeping but I have to be to work in an hour. Tonite will be fun, havent slept at all. I am so glad my last day is Saturday at that hell hole. Tomorrow we are taking Angel to the zoo. Im excited, I love going to the zoo. I have to get new brakes for my car tomorrow too and will need some sleep desperately. I hope Matt doesnt have to work Friday night. We have to go to some stupid party SHE set up again to meet matts aunt and I dont want to go. matt says we only have to stay like a half hour. Thank God. With my luck well hit a deer again, go all the way to stc for a half hour. I got new fish for my aquarium =) I was excited. So I need to get ready for work now unfortunately. Andreas stayin the nite tomorrow nite so that should be fun. TTYL post comment

[02 May 2006|11:51pm] I am just heartbroken. I am sick of seeing her go through her day to day the way she does. I feel horrible. One of those nites I'll end up crying myself to sleep. One good thing that happened today, got my grades for winter semester. A, A, and B in speech.. 3.667 GPA!! Heck yeah! =) I was excited. So I have to go get this procedure done at the hospital cuz of my bladder and Im scared shitless. Everythings a mess right now. Nothing ever goes right, got a new job.. I should be happy and Im so busy being depressed about everyone and everything else it's just driving me nuts. =( post comment

[15 Apr 2006|11:19am] So right when I am already down, something worse happens. I dont understand. So yesterday Matt came out to St. Charles to go to a mud bog but I had homework to work on so I hung out at home and went with my dad to eat at Ponderosa. Then I met Matt out at his moms and we went to a fish fry at the Saints club to eat. I was feeling really down and depressed and so we left and came to matts moms and waited an hour before starting to drive home. So I am all stressin cuz Matt hasnt bought a ham yet and I am on the two way tellin him lets stop at Meijers. So I put the phone down at about McDonalds in STC and at Fabers on 52, I am going 60 miles an hour and hit something and got whip lashed onto the side of the road. So I get out and am screaming because I am in love with my car and thought I hit someone or something. So here is a huge deer in the ditch a hit and my whole car is totalled. The whole front in is smashed. So Matt calls 911 and they come out and here my car has to be towed and is not drivable. I am out there screaming and kicking my car and just hating the world so my mom comes and calls my dad. He told me that he hopes he dies on the plane so he doesnt have to deal with me and this shit anymore. And hung up on me. And when I tried to call back he just says, WHAT DO YOU WANT! and hangs up. So yeah. So I came back to Matts moms to sleep and matt was out workin on his truck til 2am so I was upset and so hopefully today goes better. What could happen now. I have no $500 to pay the deducctible for my car, and if its totalled I have to find a different one after payin the $3000 i owe on mine. I get to use my moms car so I will have on for awhile but still. I am so upset. post comment

[28 Mar 2006|11:15pm] Today absolutely sucked. Work went by so slow and we were late gettin out cuz the idiots f'ed up the scanners. I hate workin there. So I found out I didnt get the bank job so I cried for about an hour. I did get a paper tho sayin I could take the test for the dept of corrections in April. I will definately be doing that.. and lookin for another job in the meantime. I ended up sleepin til 8pm so now I cant sleep and my eyes burn from crying and shit. I just am so disappointed. 3 interviews and then I dont get the job... real cool. Anyways. I also have to buy a new pair of pants along with my wonderful day, I get to work and realize I have a huge hole in my pants right on the ass. Only on my fave pants of course. Couldnt be a crappy pair, just my favorite. I only have like 2 nice pairs of jeans. So yeah. Nice. I just am really mad and upset and yeah my night sucks. Lets hope this week gets better. Thurs supposed to go with Shelly and Sunday with Kandice. Lets hope everything turns out better.. post comment

[17 Mar 2006|11:59pm] Hey.. I hardly ever update anymore.. So yeah. Lets see... whats been goin on lately. Angels been stayin with me Sunday nites.. and Andrea and Tricia too sometimes. =) I LOVE the company. I hate being home alone. Work sucks. Have a second interview at Citizens Monday.. I hope I get that job. Gotta find out if I can get Lasik surgery so I dont have to wear glasses or contacts anymore, my bday present from my dad =) Hopefully Im old enough and eligible. Going Sat to the bull riding thing at the event center. Was supposed to go with my dad and gma to the movies.. but since Emily didnt want to go, my gma didnt.. Goin to Wolverine Juvenile Maximum Security thurs.. way excited. Anyways. I am bored. =/ post comment

[03 Mar 2006|06:06pm] Hey- Been busy with work.. too tired to update half the time. Took Angel to see Curious George the other day. too cute. I need sleep. post comment

[19 Feb 2006|10:55pm] Hey- I had a good weekend. Friday had to be to work at 4am. Got home and slept til like 3. Got up and chilled with Matty. Last nite we went to see my aunt at the hospital, went and picked up Angel and she didtn want to stay at tricias so tracy tricia, matt angel and i went to pizza hut.. my fave of course. Then we took angel to my moms and stopped at the creek and came home and packed. Angel learned the new Eminem/NateDogg song and sings, SSSHHHIITTT.. Shake that ass for me, Double D's!! lol Then today we packed and packed and packed and my dad stopped by. I am SOOOOO excited to move!!! only 6 days!! WOO HOO Okay gtg ttyl post comment

[17 Feb 2006|10:14pm] Hey- I gotta work tonite. Matt had last nite off cuz the power was out at his work.. everyone in stc was out of power but our apts. It was awesome. Drivin to work at 3am sucked. Thank God Matt was home cuz i couldnt get my door opened cuz it was iced shut. Then i came home and went to bed til 3. Then got up and packed more stuff and Angel came over. Then we went to eat at mcdonalds and took her home after stoppin at uncle billy bobs. My aunt Kathy, my moms sister had to go in the ICU last nite cuz they think she had pnemonia.. that was scary. She is doing better today. Shes the one that goes to all my pageants adn that. Well I should get goin, chill out and relax before work. 8 more days til we move!! post comment

[11 Feb 2006|03:10pm] Hey- Finally its my weekend! Work goes from tues to sat at fedex so today at 4am i had to be to work! Matty is out with uncle billy bob at some dinner thing and I am going to my moms to clean and to see Angel baby. I am quittin SVSU work monday i think. I like my job at fedex, and make good money and hate my job at svsu and make sucky money so yeah. I am burning a cd that is takin forever. I guess matt is goin to get me my valentines day gift today. I have him his the other day lol i can never wait. Angel got hers like 3 weeks ago lol. I got matt a hat, a coat, a model engine, some boxers and a shirt. 2 more weeks and we move!! I am way excited. Got a lot of beach theme stuff for the living room.. heck yeah!! =) well i am out ttyl post comment

[06 Feb 2006|03:21pm] Hey!! My lj has been messin up on my laptop. Im at my moms for the week though and her computer works! Matt and I got our pics done Saturday so thought Id throw them on here! ( MATTY AND JEN!! ) post comment

[22 Jan 2006|11:06pm] Hey- Well just when I thought things couldnt get any worse... uhh yeah... I walk in our room and there is a HUGE wet spot taking up the whole bed. So im like uhh Matt what did u spill on the bed..... so we cant figure out what it is so I got upstairs and the guys apt upstairs has a whole in the roof and it is leaking through our roof!! so the landlord came over and looked at it and we are now living/sleeping in the living room... great. The guys upstairs is so bad though. I am glad we are moving in a month. Of all places for it to be leaking it had to in the bedroom, right on the bed... go figure. Anyways I am watchin Cheaper by the Dozen so Im gonna go ttyl post comment

[19 Jan 2006|11:43pm] [ mood | awake ] Hey.. Not too much up today. Went to class. Got embarrassed. So my phone went off in class and it was a lady from SVSU's financial aide.. well the teacher made me give her the phone.. here was the convo.. SVSU: Hi is Jennifer there? Walls: She is busy right now can I take a message. SVSU: This is Debbie Martin from SVSU. Walls: Wait, Jennifer goes to Delta I believe, because SVSU sucks!! And hey, are you related to Steve Martin? SVSU: I dont even know who he is. Walls: He plays in that pink panther movie... SVSU: NO Walls: Okay, well I will give Jennifer the message. BYE OMG I was so embarrassed to call that lady back.. I felt bad lol. Anyways. Then after class went to work and had a pretty good time there. Got some boxes and packed up stuff tonite. Got a lot of the little things packed. 37 more days til we move!! =) post comment

[17 Jan 2006|01:28pm] MOSTLY Friends Only! post comment

[16 Jan 2006|11:04pm] ( Dont forget to remember me.. ) post comment

[14 Jan 2006|11:06pm] Hey- today was good. Got up to the doorbell ringing, and I still dont know who was at the door. That was weird. Then went to drop off my prescription at meijers, and after a half hr of waiting, they tell me they dont have it. So we went to walgreens, and then to my all time favorite, Pizza Hut! Angel ate like 5 breadsticks! lol and her piece of pizza. It was funny. Then we went to my moms to do laundry/homework. Now we are at our house, Angel went home, and I am about to get in the bubble bath =) Okay well ttyl post comment

[13 Jan 2006|09:40pm] Hey- Yesterday sucked. I felt like shit and work dragged by. I had such a bad headache/stomachache I fell asleep as soon as I got home. Today got up and had to work 12-6pm. Then I got outta work and we went to look at Fontaine Garden's apartments. They were nice, and reasonable prices.. and by my dads house, so close in saginaw township =) Anyways Angel is stayin the nite. We went to Meijers and to Burger King and I picked her up. Now Im tired. Im just glad its the weekend though I do have a lot of homework to do. Also, mistaken.. the Miss America pageant is NEXT saturday. I was bummed lol Okay well ttyl post comment

navigation [ viewing | most recent entries ] [ go | earlier ]